Last night my sister and I went out for ice cream. I always ask for two scoops because one scoop limits me to one flavor (I am debilitated by choice). But with two flavors always comes a portion size my belly can’t handle (an ice cream lover’s dilemma). Going out for ice cream makes me realize the subjective nature of the “double-scoop” - it’s rarely consistent. We barely got through half of our sundae’s before we had to throw them out.
I can practically hear the devoted members of the “clean your plate club” thinking:
What a waste of food!
What a waste of money!
There’s starving children in other countries - finish your food!
How can you throw out delicious ice cream?
It’s not like you eat it every day. It’s a treat, just finish it!
You can finish it, just a few more bites!
These seemingly innocent thoughts embody two common eating styles outlined in the Intuitive Eating framework, plus one that I added myself. Exploration and self-awareness around your current eating behaviors, and how they might be harming you is an initial first step to healing your relationship with food.
The following eating mentalities might be interfering with your ability to eat Intuitively, and likely give reason for why you struggle with unconsciously eating past the point of fullness. (reminder: thoughts, beliefs and perceptions are what influence eating behaviors). So, let’s talk about them!
The Waste-Not Unconscious Eater
You strongly value the food dollar. If you paid for it, you will finish it.
Eating is influenced by how much food you can get for your money.
You feel inclined to clean your plate, and sometimes the plates of others, without regard for fullness .
The Refuse-Not Unconscious Eater
You are vulnerable to the mere presence of food. If it’s there, you can’t pass it up, regardless of hunger and fullness.
You have a hard time passing up food lying out on the counter, any kind of goodies that circulate around the office at work or candy jars out for the taking.
Most often, you are unaware that you are even eating or how much you’ve eaten.
Buffets, social gatherings, holidays and parties that revolve around food are particularly difficult.
The Cheat Day Eater
You intentionally have “good” eating days so that you can save up for the “bad” eating days.
By the time your cheat day comes, you want to eat anything and everything.
You eat “clean” during the week so you can indulge on the weekend, which often results in eating until you’re uncomfortably full
It’s cheat day – let me get as much of it while I can! I’ll be good tomorrow.
You experience guilt after your cheat days.
My ice cream sundae experience last night got me thinking about the above eating styles, and how they disrupt a positive relationship with food. Being able to say:” I’ve had enough, and I am OK with throwing out the rest” might feel truly unnatural for you – especially if you’ve experienced or grown up with parents or grandparents who suffered through war, economic depression or food insecurity.
Of course, it is important to value the food dollar and be mindful about food waste, but not if it becomes a repetitive eating behavior at the expense of your body. I did feel bad about throwing out half of my $10 sundae, but the reality of the moment was I could not eat more nor save it. The truth is, we cannot always control the portions of food we are served, but the amount you are served does not have to be the amount that you eat.
Here are some action steps that might help you start overcoming these behaviors:
Challenge the good food/bad food mentality and allow yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods, without guilt or designated cheat days. If you want something, you CAN have it. Loosen the reigns!
How do you feel in your body when you eat past fullness? Nauseous? In pain? Sluggish? Uncomfortable? The simple act of noticing the sensations you feel might help connect you to your body, inclining you to be more mindful when you eat.
Avoid showing up to meals too hungry. Overeating is a natural response to extreme hunger.
Try to eat without distraction (not always possible). If distracted, still try pause and check in with your fullness level. Are you uncomfortably full? Do you still have room to eat a bit more?
If you anticipate a larger portion than you are able to finish (per my above ice cream experience), consider saving money and food waste by sharing with a friend!
When comfortably full, make a choice:
Can you package the food or save it for leftovers? If yes, great – get a tuppie and put it in the fridge!
If not, or if you have melting ice cream with no freezer, throw it out. Food will serve you no better in a full belly than it will in the garbage. What is it about the experience of throwing out food that makes you uncomfortable? Can you think of the seeds that planted this thought in your mind?
